This existence

She makes herself go to bed exhausted
So she wouldn’t dream,
of things that fill her with hope.
Trapping her into a false sense of security,
that everything will work out just fine
if she just believes.
That everyone will have a happily ever after
That there is actually a way out
of this existence, this hellhole.

Once upon a time…

Prince Charming trots up on a black horse
Swoops down, kills the fairy godmother,
and rides into the sunset with the evil stepsister
Betraying and breaking Cinderella’s heart.

There are no happy endings to this fairytale,
No matter how much you wish or hope for one.
Fairy godmothers died out,
once upon a time

In limbo

It’s like watching the cage shrink while there is nothing you can do except rattle those bindings that are meant to keep you in. Keep you down.

Everywhere people turn and walk all around you, talking over your painful cries. Numb to your pain. Blind to your struggles. They don’t even care. Apathetic. Self-absorbed. You can be screaming in pain into their ears and nothing will register.

Frivolous

“I always thought we’d end up having a fling. You know, for curiosity’s sake. A short, summer frivolity. Then we’d go our separate ways, back to our individual lives. And perhaps, in years to come, look back and remember this moment with fondness. And maybe a little bit of tenderness.

What are we, but the sum of our memories, right?”

She no longer knows

It gets to a point where the tears come, and she no longer knows why they do. Or what – or who – she is crying for anymore.

Tags: one-liners

The side she hides

The brave front she puts on is so familiar nowadays that it’s become second nature. But in the dark recesses of her heart – her brain – she remembers. The fear, the loneliness. All the days and nights when she wondered if there was something wrong. With her.

The fact that fate seems to keep passing her by; the timing always just a little off. The man she’s in love with always already unavailable.

This. This is the side she doesn’t let anyone see. The fear. The hopelessness. The loneliness.

The same old story

“How do you feel?”

“Not as bad as I thought I would”

“Really?”

I shrugged. “I supposed I’ve been preparing myself for the inevitability. Mentally. Emotionally. It’s the same old story over and over again. I don’t expect a different outcome.”

Fields of gold

Yellow fields in the distance
Going on for miles and miles
You glitter like gold in the sunlight.
How I wish I can run
barefoot across, breathing in the
sweet-smelling air.
Make my troubles all go away
Even if it’s just for one moment -
one perfect moment in the sunshine.

Beacons in the dark

Beacons in the dark,
that’s what you are.
Standing tall, and proud;
Guiding the lonely back to their loved ones,
Ships to shore,
Sailors back to civilisation.

April

For the first time in years, the date passes me by without much notice. Is this really the end?